Is this really happening? I'm not so sure yet.

Well, I'd really like to tell you guys all about Paraguay and my South American adventure, but for now, I'm losing my mind. How's about that? I feel ridiculous for having purchased so many items for this expedition when moving to a very poor country. I will feel like a giant ass for having done so, but I needed good shoes to last me for two years (they sure as heck aren't going to carry size 11s there when I can hardly find them in the US), and I tried to get practical items as well as ones key to my sanity. You know.

I have to say goodbye to most of my family tomorrow, and my friends, the next day. Again! I know. Let's get it over with, but I would like to have another time with everyone. I just want it to be very casual, let's pretend we're going to see each other again tomorrow. I don't mind talking about leaving, really, but I don't want anybody to shout, "It's Natalie's last night!" That's nice, but I can't handle being the crying girl again. Ohhh let's not do that again.

Another thing I'm not looking forward to is not having control over my diet. That sounds ridiculous, but when you are a guest in somebody's home, especially in this type of situation, you really do just eat what they give you. And apparently they are all about the starch and meat in Paraguay and I hear it's quite tasty, but there goes my great plan of sweating the pounds off. One can only hope for a parasite, right? That's okay, there are more important things to worry about. But I am pretty bummed about that part.

I've just made a huge sack to give to my sister. I got overly excited and bought too many things, I don't want to bother with returns, and I'm happy for her to have them. I even bought two night creams, I'm losing my mind! One of my friends has already sent me something to Paraguay!! I have the most amazing people in my life...hope nobody forgets about me. That sounds silly, but really...these things tend to happen. I'm excited about everything. I suspect I may be the oldest going with my group and I might be the only Jesus lover. Nada nuevo.

Ohhh but I do hope after the six months of waiting that someone will get to come for a visit somewhere between August 2010 and May 2012. Who knows, I could extend. I'm getting way ahead of myself. I didn't even mean to write an actual blog since nobody even knows this exists right now but this does offer more bag packing procrastination, what more could I ask for? A lot of people I haven't seen in awhile have contacted me to wish me well in one way or another, it has been really nice. It still hasn't even sunk in yet.

Oh, here's one more tip when trying to pack up for two years. Turn on the TV, aimlessly look up pointless things on the Internet, then bake cookies. It does a world of good.

Here's to lots of vaccinations and loooong flights! I really am excited. And freaking out. And on the verge of crying at any moment thinking of everyone I'll miss. But happy, too. Know of an emotion? I'm feeling it. Lovelove.